What’s 50/50 in Relationships?



The formation of a relationship can begin in a variety of ways from a funny joke to an unlikely argument the initial moment of connection can lead two people together. However,  the lifespan of the relationship largely depends on the ability of the couple to work through and past personal baggage as well as expectations. Expectations can shape the ideas a person has surrounding the role of each partner in a relationship. Such expectations can be is seen when gender roles come into play. Such a role have influenced women and men to navigate a relationship based on societal ideals is tricky business. Yet at times we may question how do we navigate with or without gender roles in a relationship? Or how much needs to be contributed from each person so that there is an equal commitment? 

If you are looking to dismantle the presence of gender roles with your relationship or just within yourself, you are moving in a good direction. Gender roles confine people to take on lifestyles that don’t allow room for personal interests and disinterest. Some gender roles you may be familiar with: women cook while men mow the grass, men are to be breadwinners while women are to be homemakers, women are to nurture while men are to resist emotions. Each of the roles listed is just not sustainable and plays against the psyche of a person trying to do what interest them holistically and still contributes to their familial structure. Women aren’t confined to be the only nurturers or chefs and men aren’t confined to being the only breadwinners or gardeners. It’s all about interest and ability, creating a lane that best fits you and not living in a box you were placed in.

    Many think an ideal relationship that provides equal commitment is a  50/50 split between the pair. Such relationships split the equity and contribution by 50 percent among each partner. This 50 percent can include emotional needs, physical needs, and even finances. Although 50/50 doesn’t always justly split the contribution in most relationships because everyone’s life experience and circumstances may be different making it impossible to maintain the 50/50 split. Although it would be more reasonable for a couple to achieve balance based on their personal circumstances. 

    In looking at couples who have kids it may be reasonable for them that there is one working parent outside of the home while the other is in the home maintaining the kids and the household. An understanding of equal commitment and work on each person through their varying responsibilities is a necessity. However, it isn’t balanced when having one person contributing just half, when that half varies based on the circumstances of the relationship. 

      Whereas when we look at a couple unattached by children would the feasibility of a 50/50 split be more ideal? Possibly depending on the goals and needs of the couple. Contributions to the house of may vary however but it’s not finite to be “the way of a good relationship”. 

      I think being young and dating we are often looking for the “best” practices when it comes to relationships however one particular type of relationship may not work for the other. Especially when the ‘bones’ of what a healthy relationship consists of is still amiss to us. Being able to identify healthy practices that nurture each party and allows for growth is the best course for any person looking to be in a relationship. Identifying the needs as a couple and tackling them as a team can further open the lines to solid communication and opportunity to allow each partner to navigate the relationship in a way that benefits each partner.  Seeking 50/5O relationships doesn’t mean that there is a balance. Balance is based on the circumstances of the relationship and on what each partner can contribute to the relationship.


      Word on the street: 

      “I feel like to have in order to have a great relationship you delegate tasks to the person who does it better so if you make more money than maybe you pay for certain bills if I make less money I pay for certain bills if I’m better at cleaning then I should do the cleaning cuz I think that if you split up the things that you like it’s less conflict.” 

      • Trae B. 

      “50/50 in a relationship should be in regards to what is split through the household like bills and chores. If I’m cooking help me with the dishes if you starting laundry imma be doing something else. Also, I will say bills due to the fact that if a household one makes more or less split the bills up, one take on the gas the other electric but that’s it. When it comes to keeping and maintaining the relationship it whole always be 100 on both sides cause ain’t nobody got time for a two half efforts thinking they done made 1.”

      • Ajee G. 

      “Love, Respect and honesty,…Everything else is personal and depends on the circumstance.”

      • Dana H.